


Conspiracy on the Enterprise

by Canaanation, GlorChesCat



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2013-09-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:40:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canaanation/pseuds/Canaanation, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlorChesCat/pseuds/GlorChesCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The unresolved sexual tension between Captain and Commander is starting to drive their crewmen batty. Leave it to Ensigns Luca and Myka Alexander (with help from Dr. McCoy and a LOT of mischief) to finally get them out of everyone's hair and into each other's pants. Beds need not apply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conspiracy on the Enterprise

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is someone else's toy. We just steal them, play with them, and return them much the worse for wear. And usually with some weird tattoos in awkward places. BTW, ignore the "Mom" tattoo on Spock's flank; I got hold of a Sharpie. -Canaan
> 
> They were mine. I have now learned not to leave my bag unguarded whilst making a sandwich after conking characters over their heads with Alonzo the Skillet and dragging their hogtied bodies back to our flat. It leads to messes. -Cat

**Chapter One: The Plot Begins**

The doors to the mess had barely closed behind the captain and first officer of the USS Enterprise before Ensign Myka Alexander was slamming her cup on the table.

"Something has to be done about the UST between those two! I have had enough of it. I'm down to a pack and a half of batteries and if I have to keep getting besieged by their repressed emotions for much longer, I may just cause a mutiny!" she proclaimed to the others at the table.

Gamma shift had just begun, leaving the crewmen who straddled alpha and beta to scarf down a quick replicated meal before heading to their quarters for a long-needed rest. The mess had emptied fast after this particularly grueling day, and with Captain Kirk and Commander Spock newly departed, the few who remained were Nyota Uhura, Leonard McCoy, Montgomery Scott, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekhov, Myka Alexander, and her twin sister Luca. All sat around the round table in the darkened mess, a drink in front of each of them. Luca - the elder twin - scratched beneath her strawberry-blonde ponytail and looked at her sister with bored black eyes. She downed her cup of tea and sat up with much popping of joints.

"When did you last stock up?" she asked her sister with a soft groan as Chekhov dug his fingers into the stiff muscles along her spine.

"UST?" Uhura added with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not familiar with that acronym."

"Last week when we got supplies from the latest Starbase. Had a good twenty-five packs. And they were the big ones," Myka bemoaned. She laid her head on the table and looked at Uhura. "UST stands for 'unresolved sexual tension', which the Captain and Commander are absolutely drowning in. And because they are, so am I. I just want it to end."

"Poor dear's gone through three vibrators since our last resupply," teased her sister. Luca got up and wrapped her arms around Chekhov's shoulders, whispering something into his ear that made his cheeks burn. "It's such a shame that her telepathic gifts manifested in empathy and not technokinesis. I pick up on it between Kirk and Spock, but nowhere near what Myka does." Luca leaned farther over Chekhov to steal his drink and used the opportunity to drape herself over him.

Myka groaned as she sat up. "Luca, please! I already got the Captain and Commander Spock dropping emotions all over the place. I don't need yours too!"

McCoy spoke up. "Spock showing emotions? The damn hobgoblin hasn't got emotions. A brick wall is more emotional than he is."

"He's Vulcan, not emotionless. He just bottles them up and every now and then, the cork pops out and concentrated emotion just comes spewing out like champagne. Typically when this happens, it's got something to do with Captain Kirk. Either he's the cause of it or something has happened to him. Like that last away mission where the Grand Empress wanted to keep him as part of her male harem. Let me just say that there was dark green jealousy and smothering purple possessiveness just spilling all over the place in the labs before he beamed down to help extract the away team. And that was the night I burnt through _two_ vibrators. So I say this shit has to stop and somebody needs to pull those two's heads out of their asses so they can just fuck each other already!"

"So they need to get their heads out of their own asses and into each other's," commented the Communications officer.

Luca burst out laughing, joined by Uhura and Chekhov. Scotty looked torn between laughing and being disgusted. He was still trying to reconcile that two identical girls could be so different; it was his first extended contact with the younger. Luca was one of his engineering ensigns, so he knew her personality and habits well. He knew he only had to shout her name for her to poke her head out of her Jefferies tube and fix her black Betazoid eyes on him. Myka, her hair a much brighter red than her sister and mind less likely to inhabit the gutter, was a wild card.

Opting for disgust, Scotty pulled a face. "Tha's disgustin'!" he complained in his Scottish brogue. "Ye realize I'll never be able tae look a' either o' them wit'out imaginin' them going at it!"

"At least it'll make beta shift more interesting," Luca said with a smirk.

"Don't make it harder on him," Chekhov admonished her, still blushing from the dirty suggestions she had poured into his ear a short time before. His Friend-with-Benefits was much more blatantly mischievous than Myka.

Myka thought to herself for a moment. "This would be so much easier if we could get them drunk. But Vulcans don't get drunk on alcohol. Though their reaction to cho…" She sat up straight as a broad grin spread across her face. "Luca, my twin, I have just had the greatest idea."

Luca's black eyes were bright, and her Cheshire Cat grin mirrored her sister's. "I think I read your mind, my dear sister," she said and turned to McCoy with her wide "you know you're going to do what I want because you can't resist me" puppy eyes. "Bones," she said with a sweet wheedling tone, "we need a favor."

Bones shook his head. "No! Absolutely not! I am not helping you with anything if it involves trying to set Jim up with that pointy eared bastard."

Myka quickly got out of her seat and draped herself on his lap. "But Dr. McCoy, you, as a medical man, know all about the beneficial outcomes of regular sex and orgasms. It'd be good for the Captain's health if he were in a steady relationship. And they would balance each other out so well. The Captain's impulsiveness would be reigned in a bit while the Commander would loosen up a bit. Surely you want your friends to be happy." She batted her eyes at him with a small pleading smile.

Bones swallowed down the groan he wanted to let out. _If Spock and Jim don't kill me, these two are going to be the death of me,_ he told himself. "What exactly do you want me to do?"

Myka gave a happy squeal and hugged him. "I knew you would help!"

Luca abandoned Chekhov to smother Bones in her embrace. "We just need your chocolate liquor. You know, the good stuff you think you have hidden in the compartment in the wall to the left of your desk?"

"How did you know he had it?" Chekhov asked.

"I found it when I was crawling through the duct work last Tuesday."

"And that bottle of peach schnapps you have too," Myka tacked on.

"Why do you need that too?" McCoy asked her.

Myka leaned back and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead dramatically. "So I can drink myself into a stupor while they have it out. Otherwise there's going to be quite a few charges of sexual harassment brought up against me."

"You know," Luca said, still draped over Bones, "I think we can kill four birds with one stone."

"Oh?" Myka questioned. "How so?"

"You'll see, my darling little sister," Luca said and patted her head. "But first, I need to go to bed. I'm exhausted."

Chekhov rose as well and, tucking his arm around Luca's waist, followed her out of the mess.


End file.
